Anxiety is a very interesting thing. It can manifest in very different ways depending on the person. People think that anxiety is a negative feeling that promotes over-analyzing (which is true), but it also can create productivity. I leave for Havana, Cuba in a little over a week and my anxiety is helping me be hyper-aware of what’s going in my suitcase.
First, I had to get a new suitcase because my stereotypical black one would be impossible the differentiate on the conveyor belt. I painstakingly chose a 24-inch bright cyan suitcase to ensure that I would not overpack and go over the weight limit, despite wanting to get a much larger suitcase to fit all the clothes I may and may not wear for my month abroad. I have also been thinking about what other miscellaneous items I will pack, convincing myself not to bring too much make-up or that book that I won’t read.
My anxiety is also making sure that I learn as much about Cuba as I can before I leave the States. Desperate not to be ignorant, I have been watching many movies and documentaries about their history and political climate. Luckily, Netflix has a few selections that I’ve enjoyed. There’s a documentary Cuba and the Cameraman, which displays Cuba over a 40-year period as the filmmaker, Jon Alpert, revisits from The 1970s to 2016. It is interesting because Fidel Castro is in the film since Alpert built a rapport with him. I’m in the middle of watching The Cuba Libre Story, which is a documentary series about Cuba’s political history and how it came to be the country it is. At first, I was skeptical because I did not want to invest in something that may not be accurate, but I like the series and have learned a lot from it. I’m still in search of more things to watch.
Most importantly, my anxiety is pushing me to brush up on my Spanish. I have not really spoken it since my Translation Skills class ended this past spring semester. Although it hasn’t been that long ago, I feel very rusty. I have been talking to myself in Spanish when I’m alone, making sure the words flow decently as I say them and don’t sound too strange. I changed the language on my phone to Spanish but then changed it back once I realized that I was not learning everything, and just operated my phone based on context clues and muscle memory. I am, however, making more of an effort to read things in Spanish and watch more movies and shows in Spanish so I can get used to hearing it.
Despite all this preparation, I know there is a lot that I can’t prepare for, like potential culture shock and not knowing everything there is to know about Cuba. And inevitably, I will forget to pack something, but it won’t be the end of the world. I know that my anxiety is truly rooted in the excitement that becomes harder to contain the closer it gets to my departure date. Cuba, ¡aquí vengo!
These pieces were created by student contributors. The views and opinions expressed are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Arcadia Abroad.